“Well then, what about you?” Riftan questioned lightly, without noticing her distress.
Max quickly concealed her emotions by trying to appear nonchalant. “I just…like the sorts of things that o-other pe-people al-also like,” she answered simply.
“That’s not fair. I want a proper answer.” Riftan asked her. At his prodding tone Max thought some more in order to elaborate on her words to give Riftan a satisfying answer.
After making up her mind on what to say, Max opened her mouth again.
“As I said be-before…I like a-animals. Dogs, cats, ho-horses…I like chicks and ra-rabbits too.”
“And?”
“I like re-reading books. When I was at Ca-castle Croix, I was a-always in the li-library.” Max announced and Riftan gave her a nod.
“Indeed, the butler told me that you spend the best part of your time in the library.” Riftan told her and Max smiled faintly at him.
“That’s right. There are ma-many rare and pre-precious books in the li-library at Ca-castle Ca-calypse. Al-although, Ruth clings on-onto most of them…” Max added the last phrase as if it was an afterthought.
Riftan glanced back at her in an almost surprised manner, he lowered his head towards him and asked in a rather conspiratorial tone, “Shall I kick him out of the library?”
“If you do that, he won’t let me for-forget it for the rest of my life.” Max warned him in a slight panic.
Riftan made an uncertain expression at her quick protest. He gave her a small frown and stared into her eyes before finally speaking his mind.
“It seems like the two of you are becoming rather close.” Riftan said in a low voice and Max sensed that even though he tried to mask it, the former felt uneasy about her spending time with Ruth.
“When we were de-decorating the ca-castle…he gave me lots of ad-advice. He’s fu-fussy and he nags a lot…but he seems like a good per-person.” Max explained but somehow it seemed like her words put him in a bad mood instead of comforting him.
Riftan remained silent for a while, as if he was trying to choose his words, when he seemed calm enough to speak once again he turned to face Max, and said, “That’s the right. He’s fussy and has too much to say, but he’s an honest man.”
Honest. Max realized he said it as though there was nothing more important than trust.
“And things you hate?” Riftan opened his mouth again after riding quietly for a while, lost in thought. “You have to answer that too, for it to be fair.”
Lashings, yelling, cursing and beatings came to her mind – but she could not give him such an honest reply.
Yet, she did not want to lie to him either. Riftan hated lies more than anything. She hesitated and chose an honest answer to give him.
“My-myself.”
Riftan blinked at her in confusion as though he did not understand why she said that. She said it lightly, like it was nothing much.
“I…I hate my-myself.” Max repeated this time with more conviction.
Just as she said this, the path they were on ended and a wide meadow appeared before them, they had finally arrived.
Before he could press her further to explain what she had meant, she galloped off over the hill, leaving Riftan to stare at her retreating figure.
Contrary to her expectations, she found that she was able to fully enjoy horse riding.
She felt incredible at running freely over the expansive hills without any restrictions. There wasn’t any other place where shs felt more comfortable and enjoyable than travelling through winding mountain paths.
She galloped across the grasslands, which slightly glowed golden caused by the warm winter sunlight. She rode freely as if nothing was holding her back.
Max noticed that her posture improved little by little as she rode, and by the time he suggested that they should rest a little on the top of the hill, she was already able to ride with a straight back without even thinking about it.
“I brought some wine.” Riftan told her as he jumped off his horse and led them underneath the big tree at the top of the hill and helped her to dismount her own.
“You’ve warmed up. I can feel your heart thumping as fast as a hummingbird’s,” he said as he placed his hands on her sides and lifted her off easily.
Max evened out her breathing, rough from the horse riding, and wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead. Just as he had said, her heart was pounding in her ears.
“It re-really…feels like I have a drum be-beating in-inside me.” She told him as she touched her chest. She could feel the light vibration from there.
“That’s a pretty analogy.” Riftan told her before swooping down to press his lips to her blushing cheek and finally set her down on the ground.
Riftan then proceeded to spread his cloak out on the grass under the tree and sat on it. Max dropped down next to him.
The cold breeze quickly cooled their hot bodies. Max noticed the outline of a town at the bottom of the hill.
She adjusted her cloak as she stared at the scenery below them. The wind smoothed down the golden fields as it swept over them in apparent hurry.
“It’s such a be-beautiful place.” Max whispered as she basked in the warm ambiance around them.
“It looks better in the spring. The fields are green and brimming with wild flowers then.” Riftan told her with a smile.
She felt her chest swell with anticipation at his talks of spring.
Anticipation… She could never have imagined that the day in her life would come where she would feel anticipation and yearning for something. Everything was new, and joyful, and a little frightening too.
“Come here. You’ll get cold quickly since you sweated.” Riftan called for her as he leaned his back against the thick tree trunk, and pulled her close to share his coat.
Max sipped from the small bottle of wine while sitting slightly on his lap. Unlike when he was teasing her, she didn’t feel awkward or embarrassed to be so close to him now. Being wrapped up in his strong arms felt so natural.
“Give me some too.” Riftan whispered to her as he clasped his hands around her waist and leaned his head over her shoulder to take a sip.
Max placed the wine bottle on his lips and tilted it carefully so it won’t spill. He took a few gulps and removed his lips when he was done. He then stared into her eyes intently.
“Why do you hate yourself?” Riftan asked.
It seemed that Riftan had no intention of lightly skipping over what she had said earlier.
Max averted her eyes in embarrassment for what she told him, he did not want him to stare at her in pity. Surely it was obvious that she had only one answer: she sounded like the stupidest person in the world when she spoke. In some ways, the fact that he kept avoiding the subject was a little funny.
Max asked nonchalantly, “Have you…ne-never had a time when you ha-hated your-yourself, Ri-Riftan?”
“I’ve had plenty.”
